The Official 2016 Holiday Gift Guide for Alt-Right Friends and Family
Everything you need to Make Christmas Great Again.
You are a thoughtful gift giver, but finding the perfect item for everyone on your list takes a lot patience and perseverance. And when it comes to difficult people to shop for, nobody’s more challenging or hard-to-please than your alt-right loved ones. Fortunately, we’ve got you covered and have scoured the globe for the gifts that are sure to make every alt-right fanatic’s holiday fantasy come true.
White Sheets (Bed Bath & Beyond $24.99)
A classic choice. Pro Tip: Don’t be duped by higher thread counts. Choosing a lower thread count is more cost-effective, and it’s actually easier to cut eyeholes in the fabric.
Bushmaster AR-15 (Gunbroker.com $779.99)
Don’t let your friends and family get castrated by the left! It’s a little pricey, but an assault rifle is still the most effective and lethal way to prepare for the forthcoming race wars. Be sure to shop online for the best deals.
Trolling T-Shirt (Zazzle.com $24.25)
Trolling is the alt-righter’s favorite online activity, and this is the perfect shirt for them to wear while they are harassing Muslims, Jews and blacks on the web.
Fake News Subscription (FreedomDaily.com FREE)
It’s important for every white supremacist to stay informed, and FreedomDaily is breaking news that you can’t find anywhere else, such as “Clinton is a Satan worshipper at the center of an international child enslavement and sex ring” and “Kenyan-born Muslim President Obama is plotting to serve a third term.”
Mein Kempf (Amazon.com $11.88)
If your alt-right friend or family member is truly dedicated to Neo-Nazi ideals, then Mein Kempf is a must-read. Includes lots of helpful tips on how to use propaganda to combat multiculturalism.
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Barnes & Noble $11.88)
As you know, many people on the alt-right believe that women should derive their satisfaction and happiness from domestic life. Dr. Laura’s seminal book puts women in their proper place and gives them the tools to respect their husbands needs, wants and desires.
Gay Art Poster (FineArtAmerica.com $65.00)
Just kidding! The alt-right really hates the gay stuff. This is a “gag” gift in the truest sense of the word.
Top Gun (BestBuy.com $8.99)
Take the red pill and reconnect with masculinity in this 80’s classic. Watch Tom Cruise bang all the hot chicks and kill the foreign monsters as he drips with American righteousness. It’s OK if your alt-right friend watches the volleyball scene over and over. Volleyball is a really entertaining and exciting sport to watch.
Donald Trump Coin Collection (ThePatrioticMint.com $19.95)
There’s no bigger hero for the racist, xenophobic, Islamophobic and misogynistic friends in your life than Donald Trump. This coin collection from The Patriotic Mint lets them showcase their love for the President-Elect in the most obnoxious way possible.
Snow Maker (SnowAtHome.com $898.00)
Make your white supremacist’s dream for a white Christmas come true. Snow At Home provides you with the total package to make it happen.