THE ENVY OF ALL OUR FRIENDS: A SATIRE

My wife and I are the envy of all our friends. It’s not hard to understand why. We met in the most romantic way possible: via the Internet at a third wave coffee shop. I ordered a tall pour over, and we split a gluten free, non-GMO cinnamon swirl muffin. Our chemistry was instant, and eventually I got my pour over too. We found out that we both liked dolphins so for our second date we went on a cruise to go see some. There…