Semi-Literate Dotarded Psychopaths Announce Trump Man Of The Year for 2018
The Semi-Literate Dotarted Psychopaths of America (SDPA) announced today that Donald J. Trump has won its coveted “Man of the Year” award for 2018.
“Our award season isn’t for another eleven months,” stated David Hendricks, President of the SDPA. “But, let’s face it, based on this new book — nobody is going to beat Trump for excellence in dotardedness, and we wanted to get this on his calendar, as soon as possible, hopefully before he goes to prison.”
Hendrick’s announcement comes on the heals of new revelations in the Michael Wolff book, “Fire and Fury,” which details the level of stupidity and incompetence, as well as the outright contempt that members of the Trump administration hold for the President.
“We knew he was dotarted,” said Sally Newhart of the Illiteracy Foundation, a Washington based non-profit that tracks illiterates. “But we were quite pleased to discover that he can barely read. The fact that he can’t even get through a one page memo, will give hope to all the skill-less bottom feeders of America.”
Meanwhile, in a related story, advisors to Vice President Pence announced today that the Vice President can, in fact, read, and over the course of his thirty years of public service, may have become familiar, with at least some of the Bill of Rights.
“I can’t say for sure,” said a Pence advisor. “But, I do believe he read some of the 2nd Amendment and possibly some of the 5th, which he may well need. Although he’s a spineless sycophant, and an extremely weird little dude, he’s not nearly as dumb as the President. I mean — Trump would likely be a fat bald guy, living in a box under a bridge, if he hadn’t inherited money from his father.”
Elsewhere, staffers at the State Department were delighted with the recent turn of events.
“Look, we understand the North Korea situation is messed up,” said an advisor who works directly with Secretary of State. “But, Tillerson is the first person to publicly call the President a moron. So at least the Secretary can have this one thing — for his place in history.”
Editors Note: Nobody said any of these things. All satire. But, Tillerson did call the President a moron publicly some months ago — beating others to the punch — stating what has been transparently obvious to most for many years.
