Science Reveals The Top 6 Reasons People Fake Orgasms

In 2015, Amy Schumer asked a then 89-year old Barbara Walters if she’s ever faked an orgasm. Walters refused to indulge because she has “this image of [herself] as being dignified and so on.” We all know what that means; admission by omission. Barbara, so charming.

If America’s “dignified” fakes orgasms, doesn’t everyone?

No. But many of us do. According to a recent study, 64% of people admit to faking an orgasm at least once in their life. Women are more likely to fake it than men, but the ladies aren’t alone in the land of orgasmic make believe. 41% of men confessed to doing it too.

They also found that the older you get, the less likely you are to fake it. Many people assume older women will fake the big O to get it over with. The antiquated stereotype of the “old hag”- tired and beaten down. She lays there, huffs and puffs a few times, then rolls over and falls asleep.

Wipe that vision from your mind. The modern woman won’t have it. She’s putting her foot down and demanding a satisfying sex life.

So, does a satisfying sex life in the 21st century include faking orgasms? And if it does, why?

Behold, the six most common reasons people fake orgasms.

1. It feels good. Many people get caught up in the moment. It empowers them to orgasm. Some do it for the physical excitement of faking it. You can still enjoy the release of endorphins during a rush of excitement, orgasm or not.
2. To benefit their partner. Some people fake orgasms for more altruistic reasons. To avoid hurting their partner’s feelings, or to let them know they’re a good lover. Some do it to please their partner. To turn them on, so their partner’s orgasm is more intense.
3. They’re not into sex. There are some people who will fake it because they’re disinterested in having sex. Maybe it’s painful, is taking too long, or is just not enjoyable for them. Sometimes they need an out.
4. To manipulate their partner. There are people who use orgasms as a bargaining tool. They fake them to gain sexual favors or gifts from their partner. Some do it to feel powerful, or dominant over their partner.
5. They’re insecure. Faking can be a tool for people to fit in or feel accepted. It’s one way they avoid arguments or negative judgment from their partner. And some are following a script; trying to live up to societal expectations.
6. Emotional communication. Like other partner benefits, some people fake it to reassure their partner they love them. They use it as a benchmark to communicate affection and closeness.

What does all of this mean for relationships?

The most important takeaway is that there’s usually more than one reason people do it.

Some of the reasons people give for faking orgasms can be destructive. If you’re faking it because you want a new Mercedes, take a long hard look at how much that relationship means to you.

Some of the reasons are innocuous enough. Faking it to make your partner feel good once in a while is understandable. Who among us hasn’t been distracted by finals, work, or the latest episode of The Walking Dead? No need to drag your partner’s self-esteem down with the ship.

Some of the reasons should be addressed with your partner. If you fake it because sex is painful, you’re insecure, or bored, a conversation needs to happen. Consider involving a doctor, therapist, trusted friend, or battery-operated sex toys. But decisions like that should be made with your partner.

Orgasms are great. If they’re not going the way you want them to, use it as an opportunity for dialogue. Communicate, before it’s too late.