Mansplaining Haikus

What even are words
Let alone complex concepts
DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP

You get so confused
With topics and paragraphs
Reading is tricky

You’re lucky, really
To have shitty little fucks
I mean noble men

Tell you how sexism
Isn’t a thing, #notallmen
Just bad ones, ok

Meanwhile I’ll argue
I’ll resist any critique
I’ll ignore the screams

Of every stifled
Woman and every gaslit
Objectified soul

I’ll shout over you
To tell you about your tone
Loudly, so you’ll hear

I want your silence
I need your acquiescence
I crave submission

Wait.
Not me.

That’s you.

  • There’s a lovely little snag (or several) in these for the would-be splainers out there. First five (or seven) to take the bait get a sarcastic gold star.
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