Let’s learn about “magical thinking.” On an unrelated note, impeachment.
I’m a bit of skeptic. I’m a see it to believe it kind of dude. Superstitious types, people spreading salt or vinegar to ward off evil spirits or wishing upon a shooting star? I just don’t get ’em. But I’m trying to be more open minded lately, trying to be more willing to read about different beliefs and customs. So I decided to learn about the concept of magical thinking, and thought we should go over it. Oh, and also: Impeachment. Let’s talk about impeachment a lot, too.
In the broadest sense, magical thinking is the belief that just saying or thinking about something can, all by itself, bring about tangible, real change in the world. It’s a belief that if you say something enough — like a whole bunch — it will actually come true. Isn’t that crazy? I mean, who would believe such a thing?? Impeachment, by the way, is the act of impeaching a public official — accusing them of crimes before a proper tribunal. Just an FYI there.
Superstitions may be the most widespread form of magical thinking. Everyone (‘cept yours truly) has a few to make the mysteries of life a little more comprehensible. Some people knock on wood, others avoid black cats, and yet others believe that if you are always talking about something, the universe will make sure it comes true. Hey, I get it: Superstitions are mostly harmless fun. But actually believing they work, truly believing that something will happen just because you bring it up over and over? Please. Get real!
Before I forget: Impeachment is an enumerated power of the legislature. The Constitution dictates that impeachment can be called for “Treason, Bribery, or other High Crimes and Misdemeanors”, but that last part is open to interpretation; federal elected officials have been impeached for any number of reasons throughout American history. Mark Delahay, an reconstruction-era federal judge, was impeached for drunkenness, and in 1986, Harry Claiborne, a judge from Nevada, was impeached for — get this — tax evasion. Quaint.
Magical thinkers may believe that if you don’t use it, you lose it. Cute.
Have I mentioned that impeachment has only happened 19 times on the federal level?
Another major component of magical thinking is a belief in false causality, or correlation does not imply causation. There are lots of examples of this: the rooster crows right before dawn, therefore roosters cause the sun to rise; I always wake up with a headache when I fall asleep in shoes, therefore sleeping in shoes causes headaches; or, the president was impeached after an article online was published, therefore articles online cause presidents to be impeached.
In these examples, it just so easy to pinpoint the flawed logic. Roosters crow because of circadian rhythms, the only time I fall asleep with shoes on is when I’m hammered, and impeachment can only be commenced once a member of the House of Representatives lists charges under oath or seeks the referral of the appropriate committee. An independent council — such as the Justice Department — investigates the charges, and the resultant evidence is examined by the House Judiciary Committee (HJC). If the HJC determines the findings of the independent council to warrant impeachment, then impeachment is voted upon by the House. If a simple majority agrees, the federal elected official is considered impeached. This has happened to only to two presidents in American history — Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton — which is frankly a tiny number that America should be ashamed of. Impeachment doesn’t necessarily mean removal from office; that requires a trial and 2/3 vote by the Senate
Where was I? Right — magical thinking. Let’s not forget the nefarious law of contagion. This is the belief that once two objects have been in contact, a magical link persists between them.
I mean, I’m trying to be opened minded here, but these are the people who think the sweaters of serial killers are haunted or that toe nail clippings can be used to cast a curse on someone. Symbols, objects, pictures, these things can be beautiful and meaningful, but they ain’t got magical powers. Pictures, such as this one:
…or this one:
…are just pictures. Come on people.
But perhaps the craziest form of magical thinking is the doctrine of signatures. Put simply, the doctrine of signatures was a belief of some health care providers, centuries ago, that herbs and plants that resembled body parts could be used to treat ailments of the corresponding body parts. Are you freaking kidding me? I mean, for years, euphrasia, a genus of flowering plants, was used to treat eye infections simply because it kind of looks like an eye. Believing that an object could hold influence over something totally unrelated because the object bares a coincidental similarity? I just can’t understand why anyone ever would believe that. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just never be one to fall for such things.
On an unrelated note, look at this beaut:
