Feel free to steal these killer ideas

You are welcome. I’ll probably never do anything with them.

John Markowski
Bullshit.IST

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Just throw me a bone if you have any success with these.

Much appreciated.

In no particular order:

A device that periodically shakes the mouse on the computer so it looks like you are consistently online.

Target: This one will be cherished by all of the slacking corporate hacks working from home.

How execute: simple technology that mimics the hand shaking of the mouse.

Why we need it: Never again will your instant messenger say that you have “been away” for 45 minutes. Avoid the angry employer while you are goofing off.

A gardening pro who solely maintains your garden throughout the entire year.

Full disclosure: this is what I want to do professionally.

Target: those moving into a newly built home who purchased the landscaping package, care slightly about how it looks but want to spend their weekends at the country club. Not for the ultra-rich who can afford a full-time gardener but for the next income level down from there.

How execute: A weekly weed-pull, watering only for those plants who truly need it, pruning and light clean-up.

Why we need it: The landscaping “package” looks good year 1 and then falls apart. Smart maintenance can prevent that at a cheap cost.

A movie that solely takes place in 5 different cars driving on Rt. 95.

I’ve had this concept for decades and still don’t think it has been used.

I always imagined it entitled “95”.

Five different stories ranging from light to super dark.

No back story, the viewer needs to imagine that.

I want a writing credit if used. Or call me and we’ll do coffee.

Weaker alternative: movie entirely devoid of dialogue but with a kick ass soundtrack. The plot is open to interpretation when taken in conjunction with the scene and the song’s lyrics/meaning.

A TV show that faithfully represents the insanity that is Corporate America.

“The Office” was quirky and small time.

All other attempts fail to capture the mundane of office life in all its beauty.

An episode dedicated to conference call etiquette would be killer.

It cannot have a laugh track.

It cannot be over the top.

When the character says “holistic synergies”, they have to 100% believe in what they are saying.

Action figures/dolls of Gary Vaynerchuk, Tim Ferriss and James Altucher.

GaryVee: Interchangeable Jets jerseys and sneakers. You can place him nearby when working at home or in the office, a la Elf on the Shelf, and when he senses that you have been still for too long, he yells out “Ideas are shit” or “Fuck you’re gonna” or “Be a practitioner, dick”.

Tim Ferriss: He’s indestructible. You can feed him various supplements (sold separately). The different outfits are what make him fun. Athletic wear. Chef’s hat and apron. Sexy Tim outfit. Targeted towards the ladies.

James Altucher: Only one outfit. He periodically laughs and awkwardly belts out lines that at first make no sense but upon further reflection are actually mind blowing. He senses when you are sad and makes you feel better by telling a quick story of how he blew millions of dollars, more than once.

The equivalent of Pokemon Go for baseball cards.

Let’s face it, baseball games are long and boring. And that comes from someone who loves baseball.

The kids need to be able to interact with the game and the players.

I imagine you catch “cards” during the game in various locations on the field.

I imagine you can get virtual autographs by focusing in on a player with your phone and maybe answering a trivia question.

I imagine you can get in on the strategy during an actual play, offer up your opinion and then get rewarded if you make the right call.

How this is set up is not for me to figure out. MLB is a multi billion dollar business, they can take care of that.

Uber for kids carpooling.

Self-explanatory.

Probably exists in some form already.

A lot of legal concerns I’m sure.

But, many of us are doing it already. For free.

Let’s make a little cash.

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Author of "Seed, Grow, Love, Write", available on Amazon now. Blog as "The Obsessive Neurotic Gardener". Write on Medium about whatever floats me boat.