“Apple Reveals iPhone XI Will Only Unlock When You Reveal the Real You”

After the success of the highly anticipated iPhone X — which features facial recognition rather than the barbaric home button — Apple has decided to take their latest product one step further.

Now, users will not only be able to unlock their phones but also themselves. When asked why Apple chose to change technology for the better, a spokesperson for the company stated “We wanted to see what hell was like before we actually got there.”

The company has already begun testing out the product on a few willing participants and has received mixed reviews. One user said of the product, “It is emotionally exhausting. I have to face my demons every time I want to check Instagram.” While other users haven’t been able to unlock their phone at all, going so far as to claim that the phone is broken. Fortunately for Apple, one reviewer said they absolutely loved the product, stating, “I am at one with myself, and at one with my phone.”

Analysts project that the phone will result in a decrease in Apple sales and an increase in Self-Help books.