A Trump Public Service Announcement — Demanded By Our Therapy Dogs

Therapy dog applicants, seeking high paying jobs, at the offices of Herbie McDoolittle & Sons

Usually we write satire, at Herbie McDoolittle & Sons. But our therapy dogs have been so disturbed by the behaviors of our President, they pleaded with us to publish the following, without irony.

It has been extensively stated that Trump is a narcissist. But it might be worthwhile to appreciate that there is an actual mental disorder associated with narcissism.

What follows is the exact language of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (DSM IV) for the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The DSM is the guidebook that mental health professionals use to diagnose those with mental disorders. (Yes, there is a DSM V, but our dogs found the newer definition a little diffuse, and less appropriate for lay people.)

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DSM IV)

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high status people (or institutions).
4. Requires excessive admiration.
5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of pathological personality traits.
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

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Does this sound like somebody? To be clear, this is a personality disorder, we are talking about. Not a stupid hobby, or minor distraction, (like writing this crap on Medium). Should a person with such a disorder, be the leader of a nation? Just asking.

Editor’s Note: We have no doctors in our offices and we aren’t mental health professionals. But we are sentient humans (and dogs) and know what we can see with our own two eyes.